Well, I think these side-by-side screen caps speak for themselves, and are proof positive that Downton Abbey is blatantly ripping off old American sitcoms!
Friday, March 20, 2015
HMM...
In an earlier post, I suggested that it seemed like the Downton writers were recycling storylines from old television shows, and that a certain Lordship was turning into Archie Bunker.
Monday, March 2, 2015
SNIP!
One of my favorite authors, Katharine Brush, was, in the 1920s, chided by a reviewer for resorting to "a Dickensian cutting of knots" in order to resolve some complicated and convoluted storylines so that she might bring about a swift, tidy, and happy ending to one of her novels. The reviewer actually liked the novel in question, but the charge was just, and attributed to the author's youth. It was, nonetheless, a habit that Brush unfortunately never outgrew. And it was exactly my reaction as I tutt-tutted and shook my head in disbelief through last night's Downton finale.
The big kicker last week, was, of course, the arrest of Anna for the murder of Mr. Green. That I didn't see THAT coming may be because I am kinda catatonic from boredom, or, more likely, that I just didn't believe that the writers would actually go DOWN that road. A little too obvious, no? But, really, I guess I should have come to expect obviousness by now, right?
So last night opens...not with Anna, but WITH MARY. Being all brave and proud and unashamed at visiting a suspected murderess in the slammer (and wearing a really FAB red coat!). Actually, I thought she was probably just there to harangue the guards about how they're depriving her of her maid! But no, she sat and chatted with Anna for a bit, probably asking her where her stockings were, and what did she do with that device she bought at the chemist's, and does she have any idea how much longer she'll be here...
Then, things take a TERRIBLE turn for poor Anna, because it turns out she stabbed her stepfather in her youth, in her long-ago days before Downton. That it was self-defense against being molested will not seem to work in her favor. (The lawyer, by the way, played Kurt in "Brideshead Revisited" and later Lindsay Duncan's husband Peter in "The Rector's Wife.")
In the interests of clarity, we'll skip over all the other stuff (maybe we'll talk about it later) and come to that "Dickensian cutting of knots" I spoke of:
1. Bates confesses to the murder of Mr. Green and flees to Ireland. (I KNEW he was going to confess last week, didn't you? The Ireland angle was unexpected, I'll admit.) SNIP!
2. Anna is sprung from the slammer. (Even though it looks like she and her husband could be acting in concert?) SNIP!
3. Molesley commits what I think may actually be criminal trespass, and he and sweetheart Baxter spend their days off scouring the pubs of York looking for the barkeep with whom Bates spent that fateful day. "They were in the Boer War together." Or is that BORE War? SNIP!
4. ANNA DOESN'T HAVE TO GO BACK TO JAIL, BECAUSE THE WITNESS WHO PICKED HER OUT OF THE LINEUP IS NOW "HAVING DOUBTS." SNIP!
5. Bates makes it back to Downton in time to hear Mary screw up the words to "Silent Night" AND give his bride a big wet Christmas Kiss. They're together for Christmas; they'll worry about all the other nasty details later. SNIP!
WE'RE EXPECTED TO SWALLOW THIS SLOP?
Then there was the ABSURD rudeness of Lord Sinderby and his butler (STOWE? STOLE? I didn't quite get the name?), who, if this weren't the north of England in the 1920s, I would swear were both trying to top each other with their Darth Vader impressions. Honestly, like so much else this season, I just wasn't buying it. Actually, I think the purpose of these two buffoons was to provide Mary an opportunity to shine in contrast! Suddenly, she's NOT the most reprehensible person in the house. SHE is Lady Mary Crawley; SHE knows how to treat her inferiors (i.e. EVERYBODY). (But that doesn't mean she can't abuse her sister Edith, of course. OF COURSE.)
Lord Sinderby's baby mama shows up, with baby (well, toddler, really) in tow. And WHO sweeps in to rescue The Dark Lord? MARY. Well, it was Rose's idea, but I am sure Mary will claim credit. SNIP! Another knot is cut; Rose and Mary and Robert save The Dark Lord's hide by pretending to know the baby mama (who seems like a very nice girl, even if she is a trollop), and have NOW BECOME ENABLERS OF HIS DECEIT AND HYPOCRISY! Rose is turning into quite a little protégé of her cousin Mary, isn't she? She is learning how to EXPLOIT and control people, bending them to her will! She now holds sway over her father-in-law, who renounces his rudeness and faux superiority, and becomes everyone's favorite curmudgeon-with-a-heart. She works the same black magic on Stole/we.
Yeah, well, too bad Rose is leaving to go to New York. Out of nowhere, Atticus gets a job in New York! I didn't even realize he had a skill set! SNIP! Another cutting of knots to get Rose out of the story--I suspect she needed to leave Downton for Disney to be their new Cinderella, due out soon. (Hollywood lures yet another Downton Beauty away...Downton viewers are even treated to a Cinderella trailer. Sophie McShera's in it, too, by the way.)
Princess Cadaver is found! ALIVE, ironically. (SHE'S RUDE, TOO!) SNIP! Violet has balanced the score (The Princess being forced to wear Violet's hand-me-downs), and the Cadavers can now be disposed of.
SNIP SNIP SNIP!
Violet now has Denker to be her companion in old age (even if Denker CAN'T cook!), should Isobel choose to FINALLY accept Lord Merton's proposal. Not likely; Larry Grey, the RUDER of the rude sons (when did the upper crust become so bloody awful rude?) has declared that he will insult Isobel at every opportunity, with and until his dying breath. And you can have THAT in writing! (I actually like Merton, and wish that he and Izzy would tie the knot. OH--hah--no pun intended!)
ROBERT, despite my apprehensions at the beginning of the season that he was turning into an Archie Bunker, is becoming quite the sympathetic, charitable, and tolerant (ergo, modern) character. I mean that. (Though I don't think he'd actually use the word "tummy.") I thought his scene with Edith was beautiful. It's EXACTLY what you wanted from him, wudn't it? It was real and human, and very touching. (Ditto Edith's scene with Tom. When he said his childhood village had quite a few Marigolds running about I seriously got a little choked-up.) It's just TOO bad that Robert's wife is such a meaningless, insignificant BLOB of nothingness. PLEASE, SOMEONE, GIVE THIS WOMAN SOMETHING TO DO! She's not even very motherly with her two daughters! The strongest admonition she can muster is "don't be unkind" when Mary insults Edith for the gagillionth time!? She must be afraid of Mary, and I wish she'd grow a backbone.
So, here's where we stand at the end of Season 5 (in descending order of certainty):
1. Mary--AND EDITH--BOTH have NEW romantic prospects!
2. Tom IS going to America, and NOT leaving "Sibby" behind @DowntonAbbey;
3. Carson, who wishes it was still 1890 (just like his creator, Julian Fellowes, no doubt!), and Mrs. Hughes ARE going to open that B&B after all in spite of Mrs. Hughes's lack of funds, but not before tying the knot. (UH! There I go again--no pun intended!) (Honestly, THIS plot line was quite obviously lifted from "Upstairs, Downstairs," which often suffers unfairly and unfavorably in comparison to Downton--they did it all first, Lord F!);
4. Robert is NOT going to die of a heart attack;
5. Violet "will never again receive an immoral proposition from a man;"
6. Denker and Spratt will continue to act like idiot children;
7. Anna and John Bates may or may not be done with the whole unpleasant murder business;
8. Isobel and Dickie may or may not get hitched;
9. Molesley and Baxter will open a private investigation firm in Rippon and become Yorkshire's version of Nick and Nora Charles (check your local listings for Masterpiece Mystery);
10. Barrow and Andy will ride off into the sunset together.
I'm exhausted; please let me know if I've missed anything.
The big kicker last week, was, of course, the arrest of Anna for the murder of Mr. Green. That I didn't see THAT coming may be because I am kinda catatonic from boredom, or, more likely, that I just didn't believe that the writers would actually go DOWN that road. A little too obvious, no? But, really, I guess I should have come to expect obviousness by now, right?
So last night opens...not with Anna, but WITH MARY. Being all brave and proud and unashamed at visiting a suspected murderess in the slammer (and wearing a really FAB red coat!). Actually, I thought she was probably just there to harangue the guards about how they're depriving her of her maid! But no, she sat and chatted with Anna for a bit, probably asking her where her stockings were, and what did she do with that device she bought at the chemist's, and does she have any idea how much longer she'll be here...
Then, things take a TERRIBLE turn for poor Anna, because it turns out she stabbed her stepfather in her youth, in her long-ago days before Downton. That it was self-defense against being molested will not seem to work in her favor. (The lawyer, by the way, played Kurt in "Brideshead Revisited" and later Lindsay Duncan's husband Peter in "The Rector's Wife.")
In the interests of clarity, we'll skip over all the other stuff (maybe we'll talk about it later) and come to that "Dickensian cutting of knots" I spoke of:
1. Bates confesses to the murder of Mr. Green and flees to Ireland. (I KNEW he was going to confess last week, didn't you? The Ireland angle was unexpected, I'll admit.) SNIP!
2. Anna is sprung from the slammer. (Even though it looks like she and her husband could be acting in concert?) SNIP!
3. Molesley commits what I think may actually be criminal trespass, and he and sweetheart Baxter spend their days off scouring the pubs of York looking for the barkeep with whom Bates spent that fateful day. "They were in the Boer War together." Or is that BORE War? SNIP!
4. ANNA DOESN'T HAVE TO GO BACK TO JAIL, BECAUSE THE WITNESS WHO PICKED HER OUT OF THE LINEUP IS NOW "HAVING DOUBTS." SNIP!
5. Bates makes it back to Downton in time to hear Mary screw up the words to "Silent Night" AND give his bride a big wet Christmas Kiss. They're together for Christmas; they'll worry about all the other nasty details later. SNIP!
WE'RE EXPECTED TO SWALLOW THIS SLOP?
Then there was the ABSURD rudeness of Lord Sinderby and his butler (STOWE? STOLE? I didn't quite get the name?), who, if this weren't the north of England in the 1920s, I would swear were both trying to top each other with their Darth Vader impressions. Honestly, like so much else this season, I just wasn't buying it. Actually, I think the purpose of these two buffoons was to provide Mary an opportunity to shine in contrast! Suddenly, she's NOT the most reprehensible person in the house. SHE is Lady Mary Crawley; SHE knows how to treat her inferiors (i.e. EVERYBODY). (But that doesn't mean she can't abuse her sister Edith, of course. OF COURSE.)
Lord Sinderby's baby mama shows up, with baby (well, toddler, really) in tow. And WHO sweeps in to rescue The Dark Lord? MARY. Well, it was Rose's idea, but I am sure Mary will claim credit. SNIP! Another knot is cut; Rose and Mary and Robert save The Dark Lord's hide by pretending to know the baby mama (who seems like a very nice girl, even if she is a trollop), and have NOW BECOME ENABLERS OF HIS DECEIT AND HYPOCRISY! Rose is turning into quite a little protégé of her cousin Mary, isn't she? She is learning how to EXPLOIT and control people, bending them to her will! She now holds sway over her father-in-law, who renounces his rudeness and faux superiority, and becomes everyone's favorite curmudgeon-with-a-heart. She works the same black magic on Stole/we.
Yeah, well, too bad Rose is leaving to go to New York. Out of nowhere, Atticus gets a job in New York! I didn't even realize he had a skill set! SNIP! Another cutting of knots to get Rose out of the story--I suspect she needed to leave Downton for Disney to be their new Cinderella, due out soon. (Hollywood lures yet another Downton Beauty away...Downton viewers are even treated to a Cinderella trailer. Sophie McShera's in it, too, by the way.)
Princess Cadaver is found! ALIVE, ironically. (SHE'S RUDE, TOO!) SNIP! Violet has balanced the score (The Princess being forced to wear Violet's hand-me-downs), and the Cadavers can now be disposed of.
SNIP SNIP SNIP!
Violet now has Denker to be her companion in old age (even if Denker CAN'T cook!), should Isobel choose to FINALLY accept Lord Merton's proposal. Not likely; Larry Grey, the RUDER of the rude sons (when did the upper crust become so bloody awful rude?) has declared that he will insult Isobel at every opportunity, with and until his dying breath. And you can have THAT in writing! (I actually like Merton, and wish that he and Izzy would tie the knot. OH--hah--no pun intended!)
ROBERT, despite my apprehensions at the beginning of the season that he was turning into an Archie Bunker, is becoming quite the sympathetic, charitable, and tolerant (ergo, modern) character. I mean that. (Though I don't think he'd actually use the word "tummy.") I thought his scene with Edith was beautiful. It's EXACTLY what you wanted from him, wudn't it? It was real and human, and very touching. (Ditto Edith's scene with Tom. When he said his childhood village had quite a few Marigolds running about I seriously got a little choked-up.) It's just TOO bad that Robert's wife is such a meaningless, insignificant BLOB of nothingness. PLEASE, SOMEONE, GIVE THIS WOMAN SOMETHING TO DO! She's not even very motherly with her two daughters! The strongest admonition she can muster is "don't be unkind" when Mary insults Edith for the gagillionth time!? She must be afraid of Mary, and I wish she'd grow a backbone.
So, here's where we stand at the end of Season 5 (in descending order of certainty):
1. Mary--AND EDITH--BOTH have NEW romantic prospects!
2. Tom IS going to America, and NOT leaving "Sibby" behind @DowntonAbbey;
3. Carson, who wishes it was still 1890 (just like his creator, Julian Fellowes, no doubt!), and Mrs. Hughes ARE going to open that B&B after all in spite of Mrs. Hughes's lack of funds, but not before tying the knot. (UH! There I go again--no pun intended!) (Honestly, THIS plot line was quite obviously lifted from "Upstairs, Downstairs," which often suffers unfairly and unfavorably in comparison to Downton--they did it all first, Lord F!);
4. Robert is NOT going to die of a heart attack;
5. Violet "will never again receive an immoral proposition from a man;"
6. Denker and Spratt will continue to act like idiot children;
7. Anna and John Bates may or may not be done with the whole unpleasant murder business;
8. Isobel and Dickie may or may not get hitched;
9. Molesley and Baxter will open a private investigation firm in Rippon and become Yorkshire's version of Nick and Nora Charles (check your local listings for Masterpiece Mystery);
10. Barrow and Andy will ride off into the sunset together.
I'm exhausted; please let me know if I've missed anything.
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